I have never cried so much in my life as I have in the last year. Holy fuck, the tears don't seem to have an off button.
I always find it weird when people make a commentary on particular time of the year and it affecting their mood. Sure there are times I'm busier than others but generally speaking I've never had a huge differentiation of how goes it throughout the months. That is until these holidays.
Damn.
It'd be fair to say that I define the period somewhere between October and its Halloween insanity through New Year's and all that it entails.
I've always been on a cheesy side and have loved decorating my house and such prior to even having a kid. It wasn't something I did for anyone but something that made me feel festive and fun as the year would wind down.
But until this season of single mom showed up I didn't realize I was also trying to create traditions for my mini family and start something I had wanted to keep doing forever. It wasn't until I realized that it's very hard to go to all the Halloween events and parties with just Remi and I. Until I had a huge tree in my house laying sideways with no clue how to pick it up. Thank god for an old high school friend visiting from DC who helped me that eve. It wasn't until I realized that Remi's dad, a huge of proponent of Hanukkah, didn't give enough shit to buy him some Hanukkah gifts since most of the holiday fell on his week. It wasn't until he argued with me about who is gonna buy the Santa gift that Remi had asked for. Until Remi and I posed just the two of us for our New Year's card. I've known all along that I've been doing these things solo with a barely there co-participant so why the hell is it so difficult? It feels like if I can get through this season I can do anything. Let's hope for that.
