So much has happened though you wouldn't be able to tell by my postings, huh?
Last weekend I felt weird that I didn't work out. What?! Me?! one of the many emotions I went through in the last week. I am shocked that I actually thought about it on days I wasn't sweating it out. A little proud of myself.
Remi started daycare this week so I took advantage of the early morning workouts without him Actually, I really like having him with me but of course I am less focused on the workout. On Tuesday, Cassandra and I were going to walk to the park but due to my eagerness we couldn't. The eagerness to get a nice sports bra (2!) and new shoes. The SECOND I put the shoes one, I had a bleeding blister. We weren't going to walk, that's for sure.
We worked out at her apartment complex and my superman is getting better. Oh yeah! At the end I decided to drop the shoes and walk around barefoot, just so I didn't miss out on the cardio. We did a pretty good job considering it was a 30 minute walk on cement. The feets did me proud!
On Wednesday I had my Zumba. Kat contacted earlier in a week saying how great it was that I was working out after having a baby. I felt special. Cheesy, I know. I paid for Zumba with singles and quarters (hello, planning ahead!) and once the music started I got excited. But then I had to move... I couldn't get my feet off the ground. Every muscle in my body hurt. I was out of step the whole entire class and towards the end it was starting to take its toll on me. Towards the last song I had to work extra hard to keep it together and not bawl. Turns out I just saved it for later. As soon as I left the building, I just lost it. I have never been the biggest girl in the room. The leat coordinated one. The one with the shittiest and lowest self esteem. This was uncharted territory and it sucked. I felt fat, unattractive and just a blob without a single musical bone in her body walking to her car. I have never cried about my weight before, this was a first.
When I got home, I kept going back and forth about telling Pasha about what happened. But then emotions took over and I just cried. He held me close and told me I was going to be OK. I hope he is right. In the first 3 weeks of having a baby I lost 22 pounds. None of it was my doing (hell the baby was 8! pounds). Since then (that means 6 weeks) I have lost 1, UNO, ONE pound. At this rate I will be 90 (I didn't actually calculate this) before I am my desired 140. Pfff.
On Thursday, Cassandra and I walked to the park, had a KICK ASS work out and walked back. Stuff was hurting everywhere but I kept my balance mostly together, even during the lunges.
I posted a status on Facebook about working out and everyone who knows me was shocked. I guess it's good that I can surprise people but bad that everyone knows I suck at it.
On Saturday I went to Restorative Yoga. If you've never done it, it's quite good. Instead of working your little culos to death, RY has you doing only 5-6 poses in an hour and staying in each one for stretching. You feel SO relaxed afterward, it's amazing. This was definitely my treat for working out. Never thought yoga would be a treat...
School is starting next week so my life is about to get crazy. How does one work, take care of a sweet little baby and try to take care of her body? We are about to find out.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Trainer Day 2
We met at 3 at her apartment complex and I Cassandra met me outside. We walked to a park (I am not sure it's really a park, there are a few puddles she referred to as lakes and some trees and grass). The was was 30 minutes and fast. For me. I was always three steps behind her which kinda sucked. She told me it was a 25 minute walk but obviously with me it was 30. Oh well, we have something to work towards. I carried R on me and pushed the stroller. Only brought that annoying thing so I had somewhere to put him once we got there.
The work out was good. I even remembered the name Warrior from yoga. Did some superman and other jazz, and I was starting to feel it. Mostly because Zumba was so good and because the walk over totally heated me up.
We walked back and I was yet again, proud of myself.
Cassandra talked about food and while I am not writing anything down yet, I am more conscious of it. So far, I am actually happy with that. I've done the whole "everything at once" deal and usually quit within a week. If I get myself worked up by baby steps, I hope it can actually last. But when I am ready FitDay.com is awaiting me. Yeeck.
The work out was good. I even remembered the name Warrior from yoga. Did some superman and other jazz, and I was starting to feel it. Mostly because Zumba was so good and because the walk over totally heated me up.
We walked back and I was yet again, proud of myself.
Cassandra talked about food and while I am not writing anything down yet, I am more conscious of it. So far, I am actually happy with that. I've done the whole "everything at once" deal and usually quit within a week. If I get myself worked up by baby steps, I hope it can actually last. But when I am ready FitDay.com is awaiting me. Yeeck.
Zumba - Rumba!
I get bored so so easily! I took a Zumba class last year and liked it (though didn't stick with it). So when I was thinking of different ways I could get in shape Zumba came to mind. It's fun, fast, I suck at it and oh my, the mirrors! Must I look at myself? Not a single musical bone in that body, though I tend to fake it OK at the club. Zumba was gonna keep me entertained!
I found Kat's Zumba on Yelp and was totally looking forward to it. The hubby suggested I skip the class (where is the support?!) so we can pick up our new car and I said that I had to go. Sooo proud of myself! I can come up with excuses all day long and I wasn't going to get suckered into it before the first class.
The studio was nice and small and Kat rocked! I haven't sweated this much since... EVER! She asked for my name at the beginning of the class and still remembered it at the end. She sent a "welcome email" the next morning. Oh yeah. So as much as the bod was in pain, the shirt grossly soaked, I was a very happy girl driving home. Can't wait to go again!
I found Kat's Zumba on Yelp and was totally looking forward to it. The hubby suggested I skip the class (where is the support?!) so we can pick up our new car and I said that I had to go. Sooo proud of myself! I can come up with excuses all day long and I wasn't going to get suckered into it before the first class.
The studio was nice and small and Kat rocked! I haven't sweated this much since... EVER! She asked for my name at the beginning of the class and still remembered it at the end. She sent a "welcome email" the next morning. Oh yeah. So as much as the bod was in pain, the shirt grossly soaked, I was a very happy girl driving home. Can't wait to go again!
Trainer Day 1
I was really excited to meet Cassandra after nearly 2 months of planning! I was excited to have found a trainer with a flexible schedule who didn't mind Remi coming along. Working out with an infant can either be great (when he is sleeping or hangin') or awful (when he is crying). I was about to find out!
I got to her apt complex and she was very friendly. After taking my info we figured that I was 33% lard. Damn that BMI.
We worked out under a tree outside of her apartment. The shade and breeze were beautiful but the tree trunk in my spine was not. Then dear R started crying! I can mostly block it out and can definitely continue with my sad attempt at ab crunches but it was really bothering Cassandra.
Something along the lines "this is an apt complex" was uttered out. We are not blaring music, it's a baby crying. People have those, it's OK!
I decided to breastfeed for a minute and was gonna do it right under the tree. Cassandra told me she didn't know how the apt complex would feel about that as she started packing up to head inside the house. I busted out a boob and off R went to get his snack.
Our workout was cut a bit short due to the crying so I felt a tad cheated. I think R did really well and I was proud of him. Better luck next time?
I got to her apt complex and she was very friendly. After taking my info we figured that I was 33% lard. Damn that BMI.
We worked out under a tree outside of her apartment. The shade and breeze were beautiful but the tree trunk in my spine was not. Then dear R started crying! I can mostly block it out and can definitely continue with my sad attempt at ab crunches but it was really bothering Cassandra.
Something along the lines "this is an apt complex" was uttered out. We are not blaring music, it's a baby crying. People have those, it's OK!
I decided to breastfeed for a minute and was gonna do it right under the tree. Cassandra told me she didn't know how the apt complex would feel about that as she started packing up to head inside the house. I busted out a boob and off R went to get his snack.
Our workout was cut a bit short due to the crying so I felt a tad cheated. I think R did really well and I was proud of him. Better luck next time?
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Plan
Tue Trainer Cassandra
Wed Zumba Class
Thu Trainer again (assuming I survive Tuesdays)
Sat Baby Boot Camp or Restoration Yoga
Did I mention I have an infant?
First day of training Aug 18th, 2009. Bring it on!
Wed Zumba Class
Thu Trainer again (assuming I survive Tuesdays)
Sat Baby Boot Camp or Restoration Yoga
Did I mention I have an infant?
First day of training Aug 18th, 2009. Bring it on!
I want to start a blog. I'm not sure why.
Maybe 'cause I think it'll motivate me to keep myself in check as I try to lose 33 lbs. Maybe 'cause I just saw Julie and Julia. No, no one is gonna read this as I have no desire to post the link on Facebook though I share everything on that site. I can't imagine anyone Googling "Zoya's 33" so chances of anyone coming across this gem are slim.
In the last week my grandma who is truly the sweetest person on earth referenced to me as fat. 3 people asked me when I'm due (had the baby 7 weeks ago, thankyouverymuch) and I was put through the agony of finding a dress to wear to an ultra formal fru fru wedding. I've never been a size 2 (6 smallest when I was in early high school) and I never wanted to be. My weight has fluctuated somewhere in the 130-145 range for the past 5 years and I have most always been OK with that. Sure some days the belly stuck out or a thigh was almost touching its sister but I never felt the pressure to be anything but me. I've laughed at many people for watching calories and never understood those who enjoyed going to the gym. I've been a member of 4 gyms in the last 10 years and haven't lost 1 pound. Maybe 'Cause I've only been to a gym 10 times throughout all those years, no matter what my membership fees say.
Summer of '08 I got fat. It took me seeing my B-day picture to realize I looked like a cow. A combination of things led to it: I was in a comfy relationship, I wasn't traveling, I sat in front of the computer all day and I wasn't working.
My past summers have been spent working on my Masters (completed in '06) or traveling (backpacking Central America for 8 weeks, etc). For the carefree life pre-fat check out ZoyasWorld.com. Note that it hasn't been updated in a long time, as in the world doesn't revolve around Zoya anymore.
I am a teacher so my job is to be on my feet all day. I bend, stand, walk, lift heavy textbooks and such). In fact, I'm sure that if I weren't a teacher I would have gained all that weight sitting in a cubicle ions ago. But last summer I quit my job and sat there looking for another and was too attached to my new man to go anywhere.
Everyday I got on the scale and the numbers would just grow. I was nearing 150. Never have I been there. 160 was creeping in. No, no - couldn't handle being heavier than my then fiance and 170 was just leering around the corner. 166 came. And then it stopped. The scale stopped. It wasn't moving here nor there. at least it stopped! I didn't do anything but it finally stopped!
And then I got pregnant. Weighing in at my first appt I was 160. I don't know where the 6 lbs went and I didn't care. For the next 9 months I gained a total of 35 lbs. 195. Holy crap. 195 is so close to 196. And then 197 and then... 200!!! Good thing it stopped at 195.
I knew I was gaining weight for a good reason and my son needed me to eat well and enjoy my pregnancy. I loved being pregnant. I bought cute maternity clothes, nested and loved the attention pregnant women get. I looked happy, healthy and thrilled! I didn't eat for 2, I just ate what I normally would eat. Oh wait, maybe that IS eating for two...
Within 3 weeks of giving birth I lost 22 lbs. 8 lb baby, 1 lb placenta, fluids of all degrees of disgustingness, etc. Now at 173 lbs I need to lose 33 lbs and this is where the blog comes in.
Worries: working out is maybe doable, but what about portion control? I'm breastfeeding but that's no excuse to finish ALL the guac on the table.
Trainer days will be with my son. Is he gonna cry and need attention the whole hour so I won't get any work done?
Is the weight gonna come off soon enough so that I feel there is progress? How soon will I quit (I've quit every other gym...)?
Will I ever ENJOY working out?
Will my now husband think I'm attractive during this process? Or is he going to notice me once I'm back to 140? What if I never get there?
In the last week my grandma who is truly the sweetest person on earth referenced to me as fat. 3 people asked me when I'm due (had the baby 7 weeks ago, thankyouverymuch) and I was put through the agony of finding a dress to wear to an ultra formal fru fru wedding. I've never been a size 2 (6 smallest when I was in early high school) and I never wanted to be. My weight has fluctuated somewhere in the 130-145 range for the past 5 years and I have most always been OK with that. Sure some days the belly stuck out or a thigh was almost touching its sister but I never felt the pressure to be anything but me. I've laughed at many people for watching calories and never understood those who enjoyed going to the gym. I've been a member of 4 gyms in the last 10 years and haven't lost 1 pound. Maybe 'Cause I've only been to a gym 10 times throughout all those years, no matter what my membership fees say.
Summer of '08 I got fat. It took me seeing my B-day picture to realize I looked like a cow. A combination of things led to it: I was in a comfy relationship, I wasn't traveling, I sat in front of the computer all day and I wasn't working.
My past summers have been spent working on my Masters (completed in '06) or traveling (backpacking Central America for 8 weeks, etc). For the carefree life pre-fat check out ZoyasWorld.com. Note that it hasn't been updated in a long time, as in the world doesn't revolve around Zoya anymore.
I am a teacher so my job is to be on my feet all day. I bend, stand, walk, lift heavy textbooks and such). In fact, I'm sure that if I weren't a teacher I would have gained all that weight sitting in a cubicle ions ago. But last summer I quit my job and sat there looking for another and was too attached to my new man to go anywhere.
Everyday I got on the scale and the numbers would just grow. I was nearing 150. Never have I been there. 160 was creeping in. No, no - couldn't handle being heavier than my then fiance and 170 was just leering around the corner. 166 came. And then it stopped. The scale stopped. It wasn't moving here nor there. at least it stopped! I didn't do anything but it finally stopped!
And then I got pregnant. Weighing in at my first appt I was 160. I don't know where the 6 lbs went and I didn't care. For the next 9 months I gained a total of 35 lbs. 195. Holy crap. 195 is so close to 196. And then 197 and then... 200!!! Good thing it stopped at 195.
I knew I was gaining weight for a good reason and my son needed me to eat well and enjoy my pregnancy. I loved being pregnant. I bought cute maternity clothes, nested and loved the attention pregnant women get. I looked happy, healthy and thrilled! I didn't eat for 2, I just ate what I normally would eat. Oh wait, maybe that IS eating for two...
Within 3 weeks of giving birth I lost 22 lbs. 8 lb baby, 1 lb placenta, fluids of all degrees of disgustingness, etc. Now at 173 lbs I need to lose 33 lbs and this is where the blog comes in.
Worries: working out is maybe doable, but what about portion control? I'm breastfeeding but that's no excuse to finish ALL the guac on the table.
Trainer days will be with my son. Is he gonna cry and need attention the whole hour so I won't get any work done?
Is the weight gonna come off soon enough so that I feel there is progress? How soon will I quit (I've quit every other gym...)?
Will I ever ENJOY working out?
Will my now husband think I'm attractive during this process? Or is he going to notice me once I'm back to 140? What if I never get there?
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