Maybe 'cause I think it'll motivate me to keep myself in check as I try to lose 33 lbs. Maybe 'cause I just saw Julie and Julia. No, no one is gonna read this as I have no desire to post the link on Facebook though I share everything on that site. I can't imagine anyone Googling "Zoya's 33" so chances of anyone coming across this gem are slim.
In the last week my grandma who is truly the sweetest person on earth referenced to me as fat. 3 people asked me when I'm due (had the baby 7 weeks ago, thankyouverymuch) and I was put through the agony of finding a dress to wear to an ultra formal fru fru wedding. I've never been a size 2 (6 smallest when I was in early high school) and I never wanted to be. My weight has fluctuated somewhere in the 130-145 range for the past 5 years and I have most always been OK with that. Sure some days the belly stuck out or a thigh was almost touching its sister but I never felt the pressure to be anything but me. I've laughed at many people for watching calories and never understood those who enjoyed going to the gym. I've been a member of 4 gyms in the last 10 years and haven't lost 1 pound. Maybe 'Cause I've only been to a gym 10 times throughout all those years, no matter what my membership fees say.
Summer of '08 I got fat. It took me seeing my B-day picture to realize I looked like a cow. A combination of things led to it: I was in a comfy relationship, I wasn't traveling, I sat in front of the computer all day and I wasn't working.
My past summers have been spent working on my Masters (completed in '06) or traveling (backpacking Central America for 8 weeks, etc). For the carefree life pre-fat check out ZoyasWorld.com. Note that it hasn't been updated in a long time, as in the world doesn't revolve around Zoya anymore.
I am a teacher so my job is to be on my feet all day. I bend, stand, walk, lift heavy textbooks and such). In fact, I'm sure that if I weren't a teacher I would have gained all that weight sitting in a cubicle ions ago. But last summer I quit my job and sat there looking for another and was too attached to my new man to go anywhere.
Everyday I got on the scale and the numbers would just grow. I was nearing 150. Never have I been there. 160 was creeping in. No, no - couldn't handle being heavier than my then fiance and 170 was just leering around the corner. 166 came. And then it stopped. The scale stopped. It wasn't moving here nor there. at least it stopped! I didn't do anything but it finally stopped!
And then I got pregnant. Weighing in at my first appt I was 160. I don't know where the 6 lbs went and I didn't care. For the next 9 months I gained a total of 35 lbs. 195. Holy crap. 195 is so close to 196. And then 197 and then... 200!!! Good thing it stopped at 195.
I knew I was gaining weight for a good reason and my son needed me to eat well and enjoy my pregnancy. I loved being pregnant. I bought cute maternity clothes, nested and loved the attention pregnant women get. I looked happy, healthy and thrilled! I didn't eat for 2, I just ate what I normally would eat. Oh wait, maybe that IS eating for two...
Within 3 weeks of giving birth I lost 22 lbs. 8 lb baby, 1 lb placenta, fluids of all degrees of disgustingness, etc. Now at 173 lbs I need to lose 33 lbs and this is where the blog comes in.
Worries: working out is maybe doable, but what about portion control? I'm breastfeeding but that's no excuse to finish ALL the guac on the table.
Trainer days will be with my son. Is he gonna cry and need attention the whole hour so I won't get any work done?
Is the weight gonna come off soon enough so that I feel there is progress? How soon will I quit (I've quit every other gym...)?
Will I ever ENJOY working out?
Will my now husband think I'm attractive during this process? Or is he going to notice me once I'm back to 140? What if I never get there?
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