Thursday, December 25, 2014

Holidays

I have never cried so much in my life as I have in the last year. Holy fuck, the tears don't seem to have an off button.

I always find it weird when people make a commentary on particular time of the year and it affecting their mood. Sure there are times I'm busier than others but generally speaking I've never had a huge differentiation of how goes it throughout the months. That is until these holidays.

Damn.

It'd be fair to say that I define the period somewhere between October and its Halloween insanity through New Year's and all that it entails.

I've always been on a cheesy side and have loved decorating my house and such prior to even having a kid. It wasn't something I did for anyone but something that made me feel festive and fun as the year would wind down.

But until this season of single mom showed up I didn't realize I was also trying to create traditions for my mini family and start something I had wanted to keep doing forever.  It wasn't until I realized that it's very hard to go to all the Halloween events and parties with just Remi and I. Until I had a huge tree in my house laying sideways with no clue how to pick it up. Thank god for an old high school friend visiting from DC who helped me that eve.  It wasn't until I realized that Remi's dad, a huge of proponent of Hanukkah, didn't give enough shit to buy him some Hanukkah gifts since most of the holiday fell on his week. It wasn't until he argued with me about who is gonna buy the Santa gift that Remi had asked for. Until Remi and I posed just the two of us for our New Year's card.  I've known all along that I've been doing these things solo with a barely there co-participant so why the hell is it so difficult? It feels like if I can get through this season I can do anything.  Let's hope for that.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

5 Days of Thanks: September 2014

Day 1:

1. I'm thankful for my one very particular TE class at MSU. For the first time in my schooling, I felt confident and that it was a place where I belonged. It is easily the one single time and place in my life that I can pinpoint which made me the social, outgoing and confident person I am today.

2. I'm thankful for my parents who let to make my own choices. I've made some doozies along the way but I was always given the chance to learn from my own experience.

3. I'm thankful for the coolest, kindest and wisest grandma in the world. Having her be an integral part of my life when I'm 33 makes me one lucky girl.

Day 2:

1.  I'm thankful for my job. After 13 hours of being at work today I'm still cheery and heading home with a smile. I am a fan of my students, I'm trying new things, my administration is supportive and I've made great friends.

2. I'm thankful for my California friends. When I came here I knew absolutely no one. I used MapQuest to find everything because I didn't have a soul to pester. 10 years later, I've made friends with co-workers, fellow moms, and a girl I met at a cemetery. These are the people who make me laugh, see me cry and have fun with me.

3. I'm thankful for the friends I have all over the world. It wasn't until last summer that I realized that I knew people from pretty much everywhere. Though I spent most of my formative years in MI, I barely know anyone there because most have left the state. Michigan's loss is my opportunity to experience a variety of couches.

Day 3:

1. I'm thankful for all things Internet. Because of Facebook, my boyfriend from when I was 13 years old can give me crap at 33 from another side of the country. I can plan international adventures with a click of a mouse, keep in touch with one of my closest friends from Latvia who now lives in London and pester my favorite students. Oh, I can also do lots of things and pay half (what would life be like without Groupon?!)

2. I'm thankful for living in this country. As everyone knows because I write about it every August 20th, I'm very glad to be here. My life would look absolutely nothing like it does if my parents weren't brave enough to make this gigantic move. Would I like to live in another country for a year or two? Absolutely, it's a dream. Leave here forever? Never.

3. I'm thankful for medical insurance. It's the one thing most take for granted but as I go to a dermatologist today, dentist tomorrow and schedule my kid's opthalmologist appt I know none of these things would be possible without insurance. And then you look and realize that it's the one thing you shouldn't take for granted at all.

Day 4:

1. I'm thankful for understanding people. In the last few days, I've been getting very overwhelmed with everything that's going on and have been canceling on people left and right. My friends have been flexible, supportive and forgiving. Thank you.

2. I'm thankful for my cat. I have had him for almost ten years and he is the purriest, meowiest creature there is. Most of my friends hate him because he is a little scratch monster to those he doesn't know. With me, he is the one I can always depend on to be happy to see me. Also, he sometimes sleeps on my head and that's just awesome.

3.  I'm thankful for good weather. My mood always correlates with sunny, happy weather and if I lived anywhere else I'd be one miserable mofo. I love that I can wear dresses and be warm most of the year here. And if I want cold icky snow, I get it in Tahoe on my terms.

Day 5:

1. Of course, I saved the best for last. I'm thankful for having one amazing kid. He is the most easy going, chill, sweet boy there is. I'm thankful for his positive attitude and demeanor. I can see so much of me in him but only he is a way better version. 2.0 if you will.

2. I'm thankful for Remi's relationship with my parents. There are few things more joyful in life than watching him play with my dad or having him help my grandma feed the birds. Because he only goes to Michigan three times a year, it's always special and different. As he grows, so do those relationships and it's amazing to be an observer of that.

3. I'm thankful for Remi's sense of humor. He can crack me up like no other and gets sarcasm. Man, that makes mommy proud! I can only imagine the jokes and tricks he'll pull when he is older. He is one seriously funny dude and there is nothing (and I mean nothing!) that I love more than laughing. Having my kid be a source of that is pure bliss.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Smile, lady!

Hey you perfectly put together lady at the salon to my right,
Please don't feel sorry for me when my sunglasses fell down and a lens fell out. They are just sunglasses.  Your puzzled face was priceless when I told you it was OK, they were 10 bucks and from Ross. The horror! Your smirk when I put them back together and told you they were as good as new was awesome too.

And when my black pen's ink splattered all over my white skirt I was fine. Hell, I even laughed at the ridiculousness of it. You, however, looked at me as you've never seen such a huge mess of a person in your life. You don't know this, but I have to work while I'm at the salon so that tomorrow when I have an entire week with my kiddo he has my undivided attention. I won't be calling my students' parents next week, I'll be taking care of my own little student. You? I don't know what you'll be doing. Probably walking around being shocked at how everyone else is living their life, not sitting on the sidelines judging.

See, things are pretty great: I have a job I have to do work for, I have a kid whose company I'm looking forward to and I can treat myself to a mani/pedi at the salon. It's all good, even though I buy my sunglasses at Ross. I'll probably still think of you tonight when I bleach my skirt.  But if the ink doesn't come out, you know where I'll be heading for my replacement.

Joyfully and with a smile.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Spain, Morocco and Gibraltar 2014

I promised the parents that every few days I'd check in to let them know all is well. The first email was short and quick.  And then I started writing. Geez.  I wrote every day (absolutely was NOT my intention!) and the writing got longer and longer.  The last few days are full blown essays. I wonder if parents ever read them...  

The students were required to keep a journal during the trip and were given time to do so daily.  This is my "journal."

(Because no one normal has time to read this, read the last day :))

June 17

We got to our hotel at 5 pm local time (8 am CA time), freshened up and went out to dinner. Rode the metro and got to a famous restaurant chain called Museo Del Jamon. The students had the cold tomato soup called gazpacho, some local ham and paella, the Spanish national rice dish. After that, we walked around Puerta Del Sol, the Royal Palace and Plaza Mayor, the main square.

We were supposed to be visiting the inside of the Royal Palace tomorrow but Thursday is the day Prince Felipe will become King of Spain, thus the palace is closed for preparations. Nevertheless, it was nice to see the enormous building from the outside and take some pictures.

We sang "happy birthday" to Gabbi, had some ice cream, did some light shopping and headed home. I collected all the passports and the kids are asleep :))

June 18

This morning started with a huge array of baked goods at the hotel and coffee and tea galore. We trekked to the Santiago Barnabeu stadium, where the famed Real Madrid play. Of course, there are no games right now since as I write this, they are losing yet another game at the World Cup in Brazil.


After walking around the stadium, the group split into two. Some took a tour of Barnabeu, visited the locker rooms, saw the inside etc. Others, went to Parque de Retiro, Madrid's answer to out Golden Gate Park. There, we rented row boats, ate ice cream and had a great time.


The Retiro group also made it to the Museo Del Prado, world's third largest museum (after the Louvre in Paris and the Hermitage in St Petersburg, Russia). Though we didn't have much time, we saw the works of Velázquez, Goya and Zurbaran. We had lunch at the Rodilla cafe, a place that serves a wide variety of tea sandwiches.
We then hopped the tour bus and rode around Madrid while listening to history told by a very interesting guide. She took us to Ventas (Madrid's bull fighting ring), Plaza de Espana where Miguel Cervantes (author of Don Quixote) is celebrated for his contribution to the literary world among several avenues and fountains.

After the tour, we went to Reina Sofia, Madrid's modern museum where we saw one of Picasso's most famous works of art: Guernica. Afterwards, he students "journaled." Even though I'm not reading these journals, I'm hoping they are full of insightful and thoughtful notes.

We had dinner in the center of the city and I'm so proud of those who are practicing their Spanish. Little things like asking for bread, ordering soup, etc are so so great for their confidence in Spanish!

Some students were so tired they headed home, while others are stoked to be watching the Spain - Chile game in a late night cafe. What a memory to have, watching Spain game in Spain! Now only if they could muster up a goal...

Tomorrow we are off to Toledo and Granada. It'll be a long day of sightseeing and traveling South with a cherry on top: Flamenco in the eve.

June 19

What a day! After several "wow" moments from the students, I know they are exactly where they need to be. Here, experiencing Spain. 

We headed to Toledo, a city only one hour away from Madrid full of religious history and the narrowest of streets. Today is a big holiday in Spain (Corpus Cristi) and Toledo celebrates it the most. That means the streets were beautifully decorated, the incense burning and people everywhere. As we turned corners revealing yet another gorgeous building or a narrow pathway, there were many awe-inducing moments.  We visited the synagogue in the Jewish Quarter, El Greco's museum, learned about Paradores (these breathtaking government owned hotels can be found at www.Parador.es/en), took in the vista of the Tajo river and walked on the bridge of San Jeronimo. Of course, we also had to have a taste of the local delicacy: turron, an almond dessert.  

Next stop: watching how the Toledo swords are made. Toledo metal is considered to be one of the most durable in the world and it has the prices to go along with it.  We also saw a master work on damascene jewelry http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damascening so your kids  are coming back with pieces of jewelry, knives and swords. Fabulous. 

On our way down to Granada, we stopped to look at the windmills of La Mancha and have lunch. The kids also learned the importance of the Spanish siesta: we wanted to check out a castle and arrived at its gates at 1:48. Bad for us since the siesta started at 1:45 and we couldn't get in. Next time!

Upon our arrival in Granada, we scarfed down our dinner and had a few spare minutes to change for the Flamenco show.  I don't want to say too much about it because the videos and smiles upon your kids' return will speak for themselves. It was awesome!

Walking around the Albacin area of Granada, we saw the beautiful Alhambra all lit up on top of the mountain.  Tomorrow, we will be spending the morning there and learning quite a lot. 

Afterwards, some kids headed home while others decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and explore more. We went to the Feria of Corpus Cristi where thousands of people were dancing across many stages, riding rides, visiting a ghost house and eating fair-type food. Fun was had and it ended up being a very late night. At this point they are used to being so tired but our now planning their their make up naps on the bus.  So much to do and so little time! 

Tomorrow will be another busy day.  And for those of you familiar with fitbit..... The first day we walked 16000 steps and yesterday 21000.  Stay tuned for today's numbers!

June 20

Another day, another early wake up call!

This morning we visited Alhambra, a Muslim palace overseeing Granada from atop of a mountain. Elena, our tour guide, used the students as props (Justice was king!) to walk us through the history of the place. She was informative and friendly and we really enjoyed her company. The gardens of Generalife are immaculate and the views like no other. Many pics to come!

After the Alhambra, the kids did a City Challenge where they were to find certain statues, buildings and info by using their map and speaking Spanish. None of the Logan groups won but they got to see some nice things and enjoy each other's company.

The three hour bus ride got us to Sevilla where we currently are. Our hotel is super centrally located and the picture of the mosaic on the wall is attached.

After dinner, the students wrote in their journals and got ready for a Dance Discoteca on the boat of the Guadalquivir River. It's been neat to see the students write about their experience, especially when they grab a pen and get to it without my asking or an assigned time. That's exactly what kind of a journal you want to have; spontaneous and full of impressions.

On the boat the kids danced the night away. I'm sure there are videos of their moves but no one can beat the attitude and rhythm of Marc and Mike. Whoa, they are good!

Afterwards, we separated into two groups, the sweet and the savory. Sweet ones ate churros con chocolate while the salty enjoyed papas fritas.

Fitbit total: 24000 steps for yesterday and today. We rock.

On a completely different note, a lot of your kids are very efficient shoppers! We have had lunches at $6-10 every day, far below the $15-20 that I told you guys it'd be. The problem? The kids are running out of money. Every day they have gotten a few minutes free to look around (10-15) and they always come back with new purchases. So... since everyone has a different budget and I don't know what it is, I'd like you guys, the parents, to check in via email/whatsapp/etc with your child to make sure they have enough money for lunches for the rest of the week. Since this is the midpoint of the trip,  it'd be a good time to review the  financial expectations that each family set for themselves before we took off. I'm happy to relay any message you have for your child if you can't get to them directly.

Onto exploring Sevilla in the daylight tomorrow!

June 21

The hotel's wake up call never delivered and there is nothing like starting your day by jumping out of bed and realizing you are late. It was one of those mornings but we were ready to go in record time.

Our first stop was the Plaza de España in Parque de Maria Luisa. The plaza was built in 1929 for the America's Expo and is quite an amazing structure.  https://www.google.com/search?q=plaza+de+espana+seville&safe=active&client=ms-android-verizon&espv=1&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=kAimU5WSJqyo0wXchYHABg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=360&bih=567

Next on the agenda was the Real Alcazar, a royal palace for the monarchs when they visit Sevilla. It drizzled as we walked through the gardens and our guide gave us a special quote: "La lluvia en Sevilla es una maravilla" "Rain in Sevilla is a marvel" (implying that it never happens!).

After the Alcazar we went to the third largest cathedral in the world (behind the Vatican and St Paul in London).  There we saw an organ with more than 7000 pipes and the tomb of Christopher Columbus. We climbed the Giralda tower which got us some impressive views of the city.

For lunch, the students ate a traditional lunch of tapas where they ordered small plates and shared them among friends. The highlights included gambas al ajillo, tortilla española, croquetas and fried codfish.

We spent the next few hours on the bus to Costa Del Sol, the sunny coast of Southern Spain. This evening 20 people decided to head to the beach and some even took a very late night dip in the waters of the Mediterranean Sea. Others stayed back and the hotel, swam in the pool and relaxed.

Tomorrow will be much more relaxed and I think we are all ready for that!

June 22

This morning there was no alarm and I think we couldn't have been happier.

At 10, some people went to the town of Torremolinos to attend Sunday Mass while others went to the beach. Torremolinos is the most "Spanish" town we visited on this trip: small, quaint and beautiful.  We've seen plenty of tourists on this trip and this was a nice local community.  

The beach-goers covered each other in sand, rode banana boats and tanned.

For lunch we had Spain's national dish, the paella. It was served to us in gigantic paelleras for everyone to share at a beach side restaurant. At our table we had the traditional seafood version as well as the chicken one. We were pretty pleased with the results. It was cool to see kids having mussels and calamari for the first time and I applaud them for trying it and dare I say, liking it!

We spent the second part of the day in Malaga, the biggest town near our hotel. The town has an amazing cathedral and beautiful decorations for Corpus Cristi. Most of the stores were closed and the kids were pretty disappointed that I didn't think about it ahead of time. Sunday 5 pm is not a good time to shop in Spain.
Some shopped at the few places that were open while others went up to the vista point at the top for a breathtaking view of Malaga, beaches and the Mediterranean. Beautiful.

We finished this outing by watching the processions from the Cathedral go all around town to celebrate Corpus Cristi.

We returned to the hotel for dinner, journal writing and relaxing. Kids are in bed and we are off to Morocco in 6 short hours. 

June 23

5:45 wake up call is not for the weak at heart but just like every other day, our group was complete and ready to go by our assigned time.

We arrived at the port in Algeciras to take a ferry to Ceuta, a port town that belongs to Spain but is located on the African continent. Our trip across of Strait of Gibraltar was pretty uneventful, just like a boat trip should be.  Upon arrival, we went through customs (no Moroccan stamps in passports were given :() and were on our way to Tetuan to explore Morocco.  Oh yes, some of us rode a camel too.

There we visited an art school and watched as kids worked on embroidery, wooden pieces, silk and leather.  We also walked around the market looking at the array of vegetables, fish, really fresh chickens, gorgeous doors and narrow alleys.
We visited a traditional pharmacy selling oils, lotions, soap, etc. Said, the pharmacist, was a comedian and I was his target. Fun was had.

Our lunch was a plate of couscous, chicken, beef kebab, topped off with Moroccan tea and cookie. A man balanced candles on his head as he danced to the local band of live music.

Our last stop for the day was a rug store. The kids got to see many rugs made in the Atlas Mountains as well as polish their bargaining skills.

On our ride home, there may have been an impromptu bus jam session/ concert featuring "Dancing Queen"  by ABBA but I'm not telling.

Tonight is one of the longest days/shortest nights of the year, which of course means you have to celebrate it.  Tonight is Noche de San Juan in Spain. 7 girls and I braved our tired eyes and went to the beach to see the celebration.  Thousands of people, fireworks, bonfires on the beach and lanterns being sent into the sky. Gorgeous.

Tomorrow is our last day and we are off to Gibraltar!

June 24

We spent our last day exploring the UK territory of Gibraltar.  We didn't know what to expect and we weren't disappointed!

With the lunch of fish and chips, buffalo wings, burgers and tuna melts we felt right at home. Our guide told us about the history of Gibraltar, took us to the St Michael's caves and showed us the ultimate Gibraltarian resident: the ape.  The caves were like nothing we've ever seen, lit up in lights with fun music playing as we enjoyed every nook and cranny. The  view from the top of The Rock of Gibraltar gave us Spain on one side and absolutely nothing on the other. Thanks to the torrential downpour it was a wet day but we knew Africa was there somewhere.

Back in Spain, we spent the last few hours on the beach, pool or in Torremolinos where some girls  had a little fish spa treatment. They'll tell you more about that later :)

Over the course of the week, the students were exposed to many new things, some can only be seen while traveling. Fish spa, topless beaches (yes, that's how Spaniards do it and no, we didn't participate :)), smells and sights of Morocco, dealing with money exchange, learning about service in restaurants (oh it's so different from ours!) and talking to locals.

I'm particularly proud of our group because of its size. Do you know how long it takes for 28 people to pee? I didn't either! But our group was always on time, no matter how tired or excited we were. I've been complimented by other Group Leaders how polite and respectful our students were. Our Tour Director, Diego, said he was waiting for a problem to arise but it just never did. The bus driver couldn't believe how clean the bus was after we used it day after day.

We looked the part for Flamenco night, dressed respectfully for Morocco, nobody got robbed (!!!) and we taught Diego about taking selfies.

A special shout out goes to those who practiced Spanish everyday and more so to Avani who learned a lot of Spanish this week and was not afraid to take a chance to practice it.

Wanya's hair deserves a special mention as well.  The older man who left the San Juan procession just to express his jealousy, Elena, our Alhambra guide couldn't keep her hands off and a Moroccan guy in his 20s liked "the look." Everyone wanted to talk about it and Wanya was gracious as could be.

Some other highlights include Jade talking Arabic in Morocco and making friends with local art students, Joseph talking Spanish nonstop, Diana winning the origami boat competition, our girl night on the beach for La Noche de San Juan, La Feria in Granada, straightening Louis's hair, seeing Crystal's face and hearing Sarah's squeal once their feet touched the fishy water,  seeing Kim's and Sofia's green screen pictures with Ronaldo and hearing about their visit to Barnabeu, using Travis as our metro guide and map guru, Veronica being pulled up on stage to dance Flamenco, Priscila planning our next year's trip to Puerto Rico, Gabe helping haggle down some Moroccan crafts, Prianka winning 4 card games in a row in a mean game of "killing time while we wait for our food," watching Travis and Louis try nonalcoholic beer (I have very zoomed in pics to show you the 0% alcohol factor), Gabbi needing to eat ice cream a few times a day, Jazmin making a bolt to the bus to avoid Gibraltar monkeys after taking their pics, multiple students counting how many times I trip (but never fall!)and Kyna being able to touch the ceiling in the Madrid Metro. Of course, we already know about Justice being king and Marc and Mike rocking it out on the boat dance floor.

Thank you for the wonderful memories, you've done Logan proud!

Thank you so much to Mrs. Erickson who was my right hand and Mr. Valencia who was our most important counter and book end.

I'd like to end with a story of an elderly couple who approached us in Malaga. They wanted to know where we were from. How can it be that such a large group speaking English was from the same place? It speaks to the diversity of Logan, the open-mindness of our students and the joy of being a teacher in a school that celebrates that.  While every school group we encountered looked the same, our school is a beautiful mix of everyone working together, traveling and learning.

Thank you for trusting me with your kids and I hope their short experience abroad will be a beginning of wanting to learn more about the world we live in. The students miss their families and have told me so. Please hug them tight and listen to all the good and sometimes hard things that traveling brings.  They were an amazing group with many pictures and selfies to share!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Flying Back: Summer 2014


It's become a little bit of a tradition to write about my travels on ridiculously long flights. Having flown over 13 hours to Buenos Aires, my 8 hour flight to Chicago seems like an easy peasy trip to the West. And what a trip it is... This is the first time in my life I'm flying Club. Luxury. Rich people style. Since I got on the aircraft an hour ago, I've been shown my footrest, full bed, blanket, toiletry set, brought a flute of champagne and given the menu that sounds fancier than any restaurant I'd visit on the ground. Oh to have money. Better yet, to be friendly and direct.  

As I was getting on the plane, I saw there were many empty seats in Club (British Airlines' First Class). Beet red and out of breath from running through the airport, I told the flight attendant that if there was an empty seat in the front, I'd love it. Communication; it makes the world go round. I thought the worst thing he could say was "no." Nothing gained, nothing lost. Instead he told me he'd see what he can do. 

He is just another reason this summer's trip has me sounding like a broken record.  Usually, I write pages upon pages about boat rides I've taken, statues I've seen, museums I've visited but this time it's been all about people. Every single country. Every single day. 

My group of 28 in Spain. Those kids and adults thanked me profusely for taking them on a trip full of memories. The wonderful people of Buenos Aires. I've never enjoyed the locals anywhere in the world as I have in Argentina. My friends Olya, Alyona and Rob make every visit to the UK better than the last one. The friends from eight different countries (yes, I counted!) and students who remembered my birthday and wrote personal and touching messages on the day I was sick as a dog. God, my birthday sucked. But my friends made it all better. In fact on the 14th, Olya reenacted the gift giving from the day before since I could actually smile upon receiving it and not be crumbled over in pain.  The flight attendant who could have totally said "no" but decided to ask his boss if he could upgrade me just because. My long time friend Tom who is picking me up from O'Hare. 

I've been sick for pretty much the entire duration of this trip.  From non stop coughing, fever, shakes, stomach pains and more, I've felt like complete crap.  My phone broke, Bank of America decided to cancel my cards and sent me a new one to CA (because that's so useful when I'm in Europe!), I broke the only two things you can break on an iPad and my camera only records videos when it wants to. Truth be told, none of these things really really matter. People do. 

In the next four days, I get more awesome people. Many of my MI friends live in Chicago and 7 of us will be getting together to catch up, drink and eat. Isn't that what good friends do? On Saturday, I will witness two friends promise to love each other forever as they get married on a boat on the Chicago River. 
 
After that, it will be all about family. I will be spending 11 days with the coolest grandma around, my favorite five year old in the world, my best friend and the rest of my family at a house where I grew up. 

And then it's back to California. Where I have the most supportive circle of people imaginable who will get me through the apartment search, yet another move (God bless your husbands, girls!) and the beginning of this new stage in my life. I've been living out of a suitcase since March 27th and I can't wait to have my own bed, cook in my own kitchen, watch Bachelor Paradise (is that what that new shit is called?) and be a mom of a kindergartener. 

Many many things will happen in the next few weeks and as long as there are good people around, it's a wonderful thing.


 
Flying over the Atlantic in mega style. I'd love to get used to this but I'll settle for any ticket to anywhere! Oh, and next summer's trip is starting to get planned.
Olya taking me to Afternoon Tea for my birthday. Sandwiches and cakes not pictured.  Views of Thames River and London are. 

Skyping with my little man from Argentina. And half of my dad. 










Wednesday, July 9, 2014

20 Things to Know Before Heading to Buenos Aires:

1. Forget the Subte, it's all about the amazing 24/7 bus system. At no point did I wait more than 3 minutes to get on
Buenos Aires is huge
2. Dollar cash is king. Dollar via ATM is not. The exchange discrepancy between official and street value is remarkable. Bring cash! 
Buenos Aires is huge
3. The Citi bank card gives you 20% off at a lot of restaurants.  
Buenos Aires is huge
4. Each neighborhood has its own flavor, make sure to visit the major ones. 
Buenos Aires is huge
5. There is a boat that goes to Tigre from BA. Take that, forget the slowly painful Mitre train. 
Buenos Aires is huge
6. Your Sube card can be negative 10 pesos. Rock those three rides for free!
Buenos Aires is huge
7. It is possible to eat something other than pizza. Hard but possible. 
Buenos Aires is huge
8. El Cuartito is the place for the best pizza because let's face it, you will eat some before you leave. Akira Nikkai is an incredible Peruvian/Sushi fusion resto. You can get a bottle of Malbec for under $5 at La Escondita. 
Buenos Aires is huge
9. Prices do not make sense. 40 minute tour of Teatro Colon is double the price of a 2 hour tour of La Bombera. I've had dinner for 29 pesos and another for 506. I can't tell you if Argentina is cheap or expensive. It's very hard to plan finances so be flexible. 
Buenos Aires is huge
10. Comollego.ba.gob.ar is a lifesaver. Once you get the hang of it, it will put Google Maps to shame and you will get around with ease. 
Buenos Aires is huge
11. You will fall in love with fútbol whether you like it or not. You may even catch yourself discussing yesterday's game with a barista and express obsessive feelings about the outcome of today's game. 
Buenos Aires is huge
12. All the passwords to wifi are either the name of the place, its address or a combo of both. Once you figure that out, you can log in anywhere. 
Buenos Aires is huge
13. Sos = eres, tú = vos, camina! = caminá, puedes = podés
Buenos Aires is huge
14. Frutilla, palta, festejar, ingresar, ananá are all Spanish words. Not fresa, aguacate, celebrar, entrar and piña. Those are not welcome here.
Buenos Aires is huge
15. Cafe, chico, cortado, con leche, lágrima... who's got time for all this?! Learn the one way you like your coffee and stick to it. Unless you are at Starbucks or Havana, you cannot have your coffee to go. 
Buenos Aires is huge
16. When ordering any kind of steak, it will be served as a piece of meat on a board. No sides, sauce, dips. Just a good ol' juicy hunk o' meat! 
Buenos Aires is huge
17. Sometimes ATMs run out of cash. All of them. At the same time. Get money before you are on empty. 
Buenos Aires is huge
18. Tell friends you cannot bring alfajores back as a gift. Sure they are delicious but each one weighs like a ton of bricks and will put a serious dent in your carry on. 
Buenos Aires is huge
19. Splurge on a quality tango show. Cheap cost will coincide with cheap quality.  Speaking of tango, find a proper Milonga and embarrass the hell out of yourself. It'll be a memory for the rest of time. 
Buenos Aires is huge 
20. After a while, Buenos Aires isn't so huge anymore. 









Tuesday, July 8, 2014

People Make the World Go Round

In my last jibber jabber I briefly touched upon people and their effect on traveling. In the last few days, I've come across many such wonderful creatures and a few annoying ones thrown in for good measure, ya know, to make you appreciate the good apples. 

A few days ago I was reading an entry in my Lonely Planet for the Top 10 Things to do in Buenos Aires. By the time I got to it, I've done all but one thing on the list. Meaty dinners, tango, dulce de leche were par for the course but as the highlight the author wrote about the locals. And now a week in, I couldn't agree more. I've come across so many people that made my minute, moment or the entire day.  Either they were interested as to why I spoke Spanish, wanted to be helpful or were just disgusted with my tango. Each one had a purpose and here are a few of my favorite tidbits:

The lady at Teatro Colon didn't want to let me go on the English tour since I spoke Spanish. I much rather would have preferred the Spanish one but the English was about to start and I wanted to get going. I should have listened to her. Alejandro, the guide, was so painfully rehearsed I wonder if she knew what she was talking about and I should have gone to the Spanish version.

The old man at Bar Los Galgos was so puzzled why a gringa was in his bar, he didn't know what to do with me. So he just smiled in amusement and brought my tea with extra care.

The waiter who wanted to yell at me so badly for not reading the fine print at El Cuartito. We paid "take out" prices but sat down. It's hard to blame ignorance since the "fine" print was in huge letters in 5 different places but I really didn't see it. Instead of getting mad, he chucked it up to me being foreign and offered me the wifi password. He knows how we roll. 

The complete douche bag of a driver who pulled away from the stop on purpose, damn well knowing there were people running to get to his bus. He didn't make me smile in the hour and a half I was on his bus but reminded me that there is always one of those around, high on power and assholeness but low on everything else. 

The sushi waiter asking me if i was American. No shocker here, right? He heard me in a lively discussion so I assumed it was because of my Spanish. Oh no. I ordered miso soup and apparently only Americans do that. Really? Why is it on the menu,  Mr. Japanese Resto?

Sebastian, Federico's friend who made me feel like an old buddy. Funny, engaging and very kind, I only hope I can repay the favor when he visits Cali. Pretty hair is not guaranteed.

Silvia, Sebastian's friend, the ONLY porteña who understood the struggle of a normal Spanish speaker. It's not asher, plasha, masho, and cashe. Instead, it's ayer, playa, mayo and calle. Thank you Silvia, for being an anthropologist and knowing how this shit works! 

Laura, another one of Federico's friends who pampered me at her salon with a massage and a facial. She didn't have to but she did, and it was very obvious when someone loves their job and is truly there to brighten your day. 

The older lady giving me a facial. "WHAT is wrong with your skin???" she wondered aloud. "I know it's bad," I say. She let out a loud "YEP!!!" just to make her point clear. I got it. Cool. Thanks. 

The family sitting next to me as I type this, laughing as I take a picture of my gorgeous Havana Latte de Chocolate con Avellana. I sheepishly smile at them, as to say "Sorry for being such a tourist." They laugh some more and say "We did the same thing when we got ours. Isn't it beautiful?"

And then there are the men. Manuel, the 29 year old that wanted nothing more than to be helpful. Only when an Argentinian man wants to be SO helpful, you start to wonder what he is after. After all, the stereotype of American girls being easy has come up several times this week, and the signs "Americans, get out!" are plastered all over the centro. 

The 20 something guy who wanted to teach me how to tango but being kind of lame himself, just couldn't. At the end, all he wanted was to get rid of me. "Hmm, the beginner's class is over there." Thanks. Why didn't you tell me that a while ago?

The obnoxiously excited guys at the club from Cupertino were SO stoked I was American. If this is so amazing, why don't you just stay in Cupertino? There are plenty of girls like me there. Whatevs, I got free water out of them. 

The two oldest gentlemen who were tango pros made the same mistake in one night, they asked me to dance. What a regret it was for both of them. I said to one: "If you push me, I'll follow and dance. His response: "If I push you, you'll fall." Classic.  It was a bummer for him but as for me, I got a great lesson, a huge smile on my face and a bit of a bruised ego. "Pfff, California..." were his parting words. Thank you, sir. 

Juan, La Bombera stadium guide couldn't have been more impressed with my Spanish and I even had a movie recommendation for him. Yup, this girl saw a documentary at the International Latino Film Festival about Diego Maradona years ago and is now in Buenos Aires at a soccer stadium recommending it to a guide. This rocks.  Speaking of the stadium, there were two young guys who excitedly PROMISED me that Argentina will do what USA couldn't. They were right and the day after, Argentina beat Belgium 1:0.

My favorite to date was a man in his 70s walking with a cane as I was trying to fit Teatro Colon in my camera's viewfinder.  There were many cars around and I just couldn't get it right.  "Can I give you a suggestion? Go on that side of the street, the angle is much better." 

Thank you, dude. And to all whose paths I've crossed in the last week. It's been such a pleasure living in a big city, being a tourist, feeling like a local and even making some friends along the way. The locals are kind and if anything, brutally honest.  I appreciate that. 

Tomorrow I head to Tigre. If the weather cooperates, it'll be a nice getaway to a small town away from the hustle and bustle of my Argentinian home. Buenos Aires. 





Thursday, July 3, 2014

The Big and Bad Buenos Aires

I could name this entry the same as the last one but that seems a little too lame. More appropriate "Sick and Sad in BA" or "In BA and Need a Hug Immediately." Those, however, seem too depressing so I'll focus on the amazing things I've done and seen, regardless if I was short on breath while doing them.

Traveling is my main passion and this week my face keeps being rubbed into the many reasons why.  I'll be the first one to admit that I knew very little about Buenos Aires, though having always wanted to visit it. I don't know if it's the romantic image of tango (thanks, Maksim Chmerkovsky!) or the unknown of South America. I can't quite put my finger on it and this week it hasn't become much clearer. What has become very obvious is how little I knew and how much I learned in the few short days I've been here. First thing first, I'm not actually in South America. I'm in any big European city. Madrid. Budapest. Hamburg. You name it, I'm here. This is no land of rice and beans, this is Italian pizzerias, finely dressed men and expensive grub. Very expensive, I may add.

On my first day here I took a walking tour of the center. I'm glad I did it right away as it gave me some basic knowledge of history and situated me geographically. The walk took us through the second widest avenue in the world (9 de julio), symbol of Argentina (obelisk), congress building as well as the house where the current president works (Casa Rosada). Our guide Gaston was hilarious and having spent 6 years at Lake Tahoe immediately took a liking to me and my roomie. Speaking of, I crazy lucked out with a roommate! When you rent a bed on airbnb and not a room (first for me) you don't quite know who you'll get. I got a professional violinist player from South Africa and she rocks. I'm even coming home with a CD. And I may or may not have invited myself to Cape Town next summer... but back to BA...

My SF Argentinian concierge, also know as Federico, has sent me numerous suggestions of things to do, eat, and see, answered bazillions questions about getting places and has been crazy helpful before and during the trip. To be honest, without his help, I'd probably be in bed all week because I feel that weak and awful and possess zero energy to actually plan for things to do. Luca and I took his Cafe Tortoni suggestion on the first day and had some delightful food. But Tortoni isn't really about food. It's about the atmosphere. Dark wood walls, large glass chandeliers and waiters in suits coming to take your order. Tortoni is one of the registered historical marks of the city, frequented by Argentinian celebrities of the past and now a must visit for anyone coming to BA.

Next door to Tortoni, there is an inconspicuous little door but the title says so much: Museo Nacional de Tango. We walked in and were offered to take the Tango class happening RIGHT now for free.  So about two minutes later, there was a "pinch me" moment... Am I really learning how to tango in Argentina this very minute? How does a Russian immigrant from Latvia get to do that? It wasn't just a fleeting thought, it's been something that has been on my mind since then. To call myself lucky is an understatement. I don't know what I am, but appreciative for sure.

The next day Argentina was playing against Switzerland in the World Cup. I don't know much about soccer but I love seeing others love it.  In the past, I've had my face painted for France, last week in Madrid I was rooting for Spain and now here I am in the current football capital of the world buying an Argentinian flag and going all out at a place called Locos por el Futbol.  Of course, I'm a bandwagon fan but being in a place of that title, you can't help but be sucked in, ooh and aah when appropriate and feel the passion of others. It's contagious and I love it. We ended up spending 7 hours at the bar, taking a short breather between the Argentina game and the US one. 

Yesterday, I discovered a gem nearby. In this loud, busy and bustling city lies a gorgeous Japanese garden. The photographer in me had a field day with amazing greens, bridges and silence of the gardens. Outside of living in Madrid and Hamburg, this is the longest I would have spent in a big city in my life. The gardens were a welcome retreat from bursting-at-the-seams Buenos Aires. I ended the day with a trip to the MALBA, a museum so new it wasn't in my guidebook. Wonderful collection of Latin American art by Diego Rivera, Botero, Frida Kahlo, Xul Solar and many others. 

Today, I followed another one of Federico's suggestions and went to El Cuartito. A pizzeria. I am not a pizza lover at all but I knew I'd eventually have to have some here since apparently that's the national dish (I still roll my eyes as I type this). Seeing how excited he got talking about this place, I had to make it happen. I'll give credit where credit is due: it was easily the best meal I've had here. 

After today's failed visit to a hospital to get some proper meds, I have to come to terms that I can't keep up my normal sightseeing routine. Usually I can see five, six things in one day. I can start early and go till very late at night. Just ask my poor 16yo students who couldn't keep up in Spain! It has become painfully obvious that I can do one or two things at most and need to rest the remainder of the day. It's killing me. There is so much to see and do here and I don't think I'll get to half of it. It's bumming me out to no end but something is better than nothing.  So here is to getting up and enjoying a tango show tonight. I got this! 



Sunday, June 29, 2014

Sick in Buenos Aires

One of the first things I'm quickly reminded of as I venture out in Buenos Aires is how badly I suck at directions.  I have various maps but they are all useless if I don't know how to work them. Jardin Japones didn't happen but this deliciously smelling cafe on Republica Arabe Siria did, regardless how I actually got here.  

I have now gotten lost twice in the last few days (once in Paris, other in London) to the point of almost tears. Instead of pushing myself to find the damn garden, which at this point is closed, I decided to cut my losses and eat. That attitude will serve me well as I get to know one of the biggest cities I've ever visited. My walk enabled me to see Plaza Alemania, get Argentine pesos from the ATM, reflect on the last few days, weeks, months and help a little kid not lose his soccer ball while playing with dad.  

I've been getting sick for the last few days, my throat's scratchiness undoubtedly assisted by the horrible smoke all over Spain and Paris.  For the many reasons I love Spain, there is one I absolutely hate it, its perpetual stench of smoke. After the cold rain on my last day in London and a 13 hour flight (the longest I've ever taken) I had no chance but to give into this cold and deal with it. Thanks to Rob and Olya who have supplied me with a solid amount of drugs and Federico who reminds me nonstop to rest, I should get this taken care of swiftly.

In the last two days, I've spent some time reading through my BA guidebook, downloading helpful apps and talking to my personal concierge to get an idea what there is to do. To say that I'm overwhelmed by the city's size is an understatement of the century so I'll start with a guided tour tomorrow at 11 which I hope, will steer me the right way for the rest of the week. 

It's been a while since I've traveled alone. When I did, I was much younger and technology wasn't a staple for traveling. Now, even though I'm as friendly as I've always been I'm sitting at this cafe typing on my iPad as a girl next to me, took a pic of her beautiful coffee, posted it on FB and has been working on her iPhone since then. Over the years, I've met some incredible people while traveling but I am now wondering if it's my age or the cripple of technology that will make this experience a different one? It's nearly impossible to talk to anyone since everyone is "busy." It makes me think that being horrible at directions is not such a bad thing after all, being continuously lost allows me to talk to locals all day long.




Monday, June 16, 2014

Pre-Trip Jitters

When I wake up in a few short hours I will be leading a group of 28 people on an international trip across the pond.  21 teenagers, some never been on a plane, are about to embark on a trip that is bound to change their life. Let's face it... it was this experience I had as a 17 year old, that made traveling a huge part of my life.

Every year, I count the days until school gets out in order to explore the world. 10 weeks in Central America, 5 in Europe, train trip up the Pacific Northwest, you name I've done it (or really want to).

This time I'm heading to 8 countries, 3 continents and 2 hemispheres. Usually, I'm psyched and ready to go but this time it feels different.  I don't know if it's because I'm nervous due to the size of our group. Or that I've met someone new and I don't want to lose momentum in what could turn into a nice relationship. Or that my 91 year old grandma is not feeling well. Or that I said good bye to a friend moving to Brazil. I can't quite put my finger on it but something feels off.

I've been fielding questions from nervous students and parents all day. This is no time to doubt myself so I'll get it together, sleep and be the best tour guide I can be. There is a lot of world to see and share.

Adelante!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

How did I get to 10?!

One thing about my job is that it's very cyclical.  There is always a very clear beginning and an end.  Most people reflect on their year December 31st while I get to it mid-June.

Personally, this year has been one full of new friends, dancing, changes, and taking action.  And wine. Lots of wine.

Professionally, I've been offered more opportunities than I know what to do with. But when it comes to the most important part of my job, connecting with students, I've had much better years.

As I close out on year 10, I'm thankful to 99% Ride for being my highlight and inspiration.  Of course, I will miss those students who made it a joy to come to work every day. The ones who made me laugh and showed they cared.  In a few short days, I hope to make an impact on a group of amazing people as we travel to Spain, a project I've been busy with for the last 15 months.

When I am back in the classroom in two short months, I hope to be recharged and inspired so when I write my parting message next year I can look back and be proud of the things I've accomplished, much more so than today.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Highlights Galore: Summer 2013

In the last month, I got to visit some incredible places and some not so. (Yeah, Russia,  I'm looking at you).  Sitting on my Transatlantic flight I decided to put down some notes before coming home and attacking 2600 pictures whilst trying to get them in order.

I was lucky enough to do a very different but also super-long trip in 2007 when I conquered Central America for 8 weeks.  In 6 years, a lot has changed so being away from home and family is much more difficult now than it was then.  Knowing the little one missed me, I knew if I were going to be gone from him I had to make it uber worthwhile. Without further ado:

Upon arriving in England, I was whisked away to Swanage, the South of England.  What a beautiful and relaxing place. I loved getting to go on a SUP for the first time (I actually stood there like a champ!) and eating some oh-so-good smoked mackerel.  The three hour nap on the beach was not too shabby either.  The company of Alexa and Rob is unparalleled  so instead of mentioning them on every line I'll just say thank you for being so generous with me. I love you both.

Catching up with old friends is great no matter where you are and seeing Alyona in London was no different. Every time we hung out we ate burgers, drank wine and talked. Is there a better way to catch up?  I have now visited Alyona in every place she's ever lived since I've  known her: Southfield, Lansing (roomie!), LA, NYC and London. Awesome.

From England, I headed to Belgium to see Dzenana, my always stylish and fabulous hostess. Sure she waited for me at the wrong train station but what would I tease her about if not that? Brussels was an incredible city, a mix of my favorite parts of Hamburg and Paris rolled into one.  I can't wait to take Remi and Pasha there. The highlight? Market that turned into a giant street party with the freshest food, great vibe and people that were there to enjoy each other's company and the beautiful weather.  My only regret is that I didn't stay in Belgium longer. And that I am not bringing back a suitcase full of chocolates. Next time.

For my birthday weekend, I found myself in my home country of Latvia. I was promised that a lot has changed since I was there last in 2004 but the Latvians are still rude, the ladies are incredibly hot and put together (I definitely understand why Latvian girls are the most sought after mail-order brides in Eastern Europe) and the city quiet.

Reuniting with my classmates and picking up where we left off is a great feeling.  It's amazing that there is still so much to talk about with people I went to school with 21 years ago.  Great company cannot be substituted.  I wish our school (which has been sold and no longer exists) kept track of how awesome we turned out. Sitting at the table we are an impressive group; 2 business owners, flight attendant, teacher, business intelligence dude (official title, I'm sure :)), doctor and a university professor. I don't know the last time I went to bed when it was light outside, but it was that fun.

After Riga, it was time to move on to Sweden, the herring country.  Easily, one of the most beautiful cities visited on this trip yet what stands out the most are the people. Madeleine, a girl at the coffee shop who spent an hour filing a police robbery report for us (her English and willingness to help were like no other). Manuel, a Chilean guy in a Greek restaurant who did everything and anything to make sure we had a fantastic dinner after a long long day. Leif, our gracious airbnb host who didn't kill me for getting my bag with his house keys stolen and the list goes on.  The food in Sweden was the best of the entire trip and man, did I eat a lot of it. Look for pictures of my aunt and I climbing roofs. Scary.

In Moscow, where the skies are gray and people grayer (is that a word?) there are few highlights.  My sister in law Lily's trainer who kicked my culo was definitely one.   Attending a dinner full of expats was another.  A place where mostly non-russkis get together to make connections and maybe make a friend.  I chatted with some very interesting people but the highlight was Lily's lentil salad. Whoa, that thing was good.

Back in London, Alyona, Pasha and I watched the crazy show that's "Limbo" and danced the night away at the after party. Fire eating girls? Check. Bendy guys? Done. Why not swallow a sword? Yep, they do that here too.  Aaaand, I tried my very first ham flavored chips.  They were so weird in a good way but I couldn't find them anywhere else for the remainder of my time in England. This turned out to be my one and only ham chip event. This part of the trip contained a lot of naps and slow motion (must we go somewhere? moments).  All good. Oh yes, Alyona, Alexa and I ran a 5k. All I remember is that I was slow and it was hot.  While we were running, Kate popped out a Prince. End of story.

Pasha and I took off to Scotland for our first sans-kid vacay in 2 years. Edinburgh's architecture was unlike anything I've seen before and our apartment was in the center of it all. Beautiful buildings, delightful people, crazy weather.  That about sums it up. We toured the Parliament, tried Whiskey while learning all about it, saw Rodin among other things at the National Gallery, listened to a concert at the St Giles Cathedral, made 12th century coins at the Bank Museum, shopped at HM and ate haggis. You can Google what that entails... We were proper tourists, even renting a car to drive on the left side of the road all the way North to The Highlands.  Staying in a small Scottish village, surrounded by nature and beautiful lakes (Monster at Loch Ness, yes please), castles and little else was rather neat. I may have taken 400 pictures of the lake but I'm not telling.

Back in England, it was time to wrap up my adventure. Sipping on afternoon tea for almost three hours by the Kensington Place is a good way to finish, if you ask me.  Sure, we may have eaten 4 other meals that day but that's all tiny and unnecessary details.

As I head to Toronto to start the trek to get closer to my family, I think about how cool it is that I know so many people all over the world. I don't know how it happened, I surely didn't seek out globe-trotting friends.  While looking at a variety of standby flights and deciding which destination will get me fastest to MI, I knew there were people whose couches wouldn't mind me all over the US, not to mention the ones I've visited.  The cities I visited were beautiful for sure, but I'm most thankful for getting to spend time with my family and friends. Thank you for letting me invade your houses and lives, and taking the time to show me around. Next one is on me.

First few days in a life of a single mom: April 2014

Never did I think I'd be where I am today but there is no better time to start over than the present. Here are some reflections and fun tidbits from the last ten days.

-Food shopping for yourself is awesome and easy.  So is calorie counting. It's hard to eat cookies when there aren't any in the house.  
-I made instant coffee this morning and I am still alive to talk about it.
-I didn't realize I was homeless until I had to order a gift on Amazon and had nowhere to ship it. I know how to get to my friend's house but not its official location.
-I have been away from Remi for extended periods of time many times before.  However, I was always traveling and doing something out of the ordinary.  Not having him around during my actual life and work week is weird!
-My kid was shocked to have a washer/dryer IN my friend's apartment.  He couldn't fathom how that's possible since we've always had to get quarters and walk to another building to wash our clothes.
-Half of the things I want to grab and think I need are in storage.  But I know I don't need them that badly since I haven't driven to storage to pick anything up.
-One produces a lot less trash and dirty dishes if all that's eaten are salads (1 of each in an entire week).
-My friends are awesome.  They don't tire of me (well, they don't let on anyway) of me talking about how excited and scared I am and always let me go on and on as I try to figure this out. 
-Roku is odd but HuluPlus is my new BFF.  Yay for Shark Tank and Dancing with the Stars laptop marathons. 
-I'm a hit with 70 and 50 year olds at Latino clubs (but I already knew that).
-I have a lot more to learn about logistics of co-parenting and will do so in time.

And then another 3 years go by.

I am now a divorced mom of an awesome 4. 5 year old little man who oozes love and can drive me totally crazy at the same time.  Welcome to life with a pre-schooler!

The ex never cared about the weight loss and let's face it, he probably didn't even notice when I shredded the 33 pounds and then some.  And then gained 25 back. And then lost 14 of it.  You get the drill.  I am currently 150 lbs and feeling OK.  There is work to be done and I am training for a Half Marathon this Fall.  The goal?  The elusive 140.

But I am not here to talk about weight.  See, the title of this blog is 33.  5 years ago, it was pounds.  This year, it's the age I am turning.   So much to see. So much to do.  So little time.  Let this become the space I've been wanting it to be for years.  A place to reflect, check in and see how life goes it.

I have a lot of travel coming up and for the first time, I'd like to have a space to record it and keep my notes forever.  Journals get wet, lost and thrown out.  I'd like to look back in 2034 and see my blog from my fun summer of 2014 and smile.  That starts now.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

My Adventures on Tinder: May 2014

You know how you find out that you are not really ready to date?  You join Tinder.

If you haven't been on, congrats!  Now let me explain how it works. It's a stack of cards with pictures of your potential match.  There is a limit of 500 characters for anything you want to say about yourself.  If you like what you see (hellooo, piece of meat!) you swipe right.  If you don't, swipe left and the next boy toy comes up.   Is it like "Hot or Not" a few years ago? I don't even know.  If you both swipe right, you are now a "match" and can message each other. 

I've now been on Tinder for a week, let me share some major no-nos:
-half-dressed gym selfies in front of the mirror!
-middle finger pics. Who thinks that's hot?
-pics with guns. Nope, no romantic wet fuzzy feeling here.
-pics of you and your 14 closest friends. I won't take the time to figure out which one you are. 
-a few tattoos here and there are fine (maybe even hot) but if I can't see your actual skin and that's all you choose to show me, you've overdone it.
-guys that don't write a single word.  You have 500 characters. It ain't much but you can tell me something! One hobby, a fun quality about you or a weird quote! Give a girl SOMEthing.
-Tindering while you are on a weekend away.  It's a GPS and you don't need guys from 100 miles away messaging you a week later. 
- ask me how I feel about blow jobs. 

I'm learning that this app walks a super fine line between seeming aggressive and still being a lady.

Remember:
-to be picky.  Every guy I "like" I have a match with. I am no size 2 beauty queen so my guess is that EVERY guy likes EVERY girl who shows up. It's impossible that every guy on Tinder thinks I'm awesome. Seriously.
-I am a girl.  I will not message you first.
-Friends with benefits, still includes the "friends" part first, right?
-to be honest.  There is nothing wrong with stating what you need.  I will make the conclusion that fits me based on the information given.
-when is Tinderworld, you need to be available to meet ASAP. No one is going to wait for you until you clear your calendar a week out.

Unless, you are this guy.  I have my first Tinder encounter set up in Mountain View eight days from now.  He is even skipping the Google Bus to have dinner with me and will take the Caltrain back to the city.  How low did my expectations get that I think it's oh-so-fabulous?  Will he actually be patient enough and not cancel in the next 8 days? Fabulous single moms and quality busy ladies aren't available at a drop of a hat.

Stay tuned.  I don't think Tindersphere is ready for me.